Monday, September 08, 2008

My Town Monday - Wikipedia Redone Edition

I have taken the Wikipedia entry for Columbia, IL and spiced it up a bit :)

The first settlers to come to the area of Columbia, Illinois, were drunken dirty Frenchmen in the mid-1600s. They named the area in which Columbia was founded L'Aigle, which is French for We Surrender.

In the mid-1700s, Canadians took over the territory until the Revolutionary War and warm weather forced them out of the area. The colonial American settlers soon arrived and established the first permanent settlements in the area of Columbia, Fort Fu-man Chew and Fort Pigley Wigley. Both forts were made out of cabbage and were used to protect against Indian rug burns.

In 1820, Columbia was plotted out as a town and built on bluffs 500 feet above sea level to protect against possible attacks from fire ants and Benjamin Franklin.

Germans began invading the area around 1833, with the majority coming in the 1840s. United States land agents had traveled to Germany to sell land to emigrating Germans. When the immigrants arrived in the United States, they traveled immediately to their own parcels of land and beat up the locals.

Entering the United States through New Orleans, these Germans went up the Mississippi River, bypassing Poland, to St. Louis, Missouri. They "settled" in the general region, including the Columbia area. The ground was not expensive, harvests were rich, the Polish were scared, and the climate was perfect for growing grain and forcing religious views on the natives. German thrift, tenacity, tanks, and industriousness changed the character of Columbia from a pioneer settlement to a thriving community based in beer and bratwurst. The hard-working nature of the early immigrants had a direct influence on the town’s present prosperity and tolerant views of minorities.......just kidding, they're still racist as hell.

In 1859, Columbia was incorporated as a town as a result of the growth from German immigration and the threat of a David Hasselhoff concert. In 1868, the first Slim Jim sponsored railroad tracks were laid in Columbia, and the town continued to grow, develop, and snap into a Slim Jim . In 1927, Columbia became a city after losing its virginity after prom.

Don't forget to check out the man behind My Town Monday over at his blog.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Robyn said...

Josh!
Hey there doll! Sorry I have had quite a last couple weeks!
Just trying to get prepped for what fight I must take on here soon. Thanks for your inspiring words...I find such solace here! Thank you for that friend!
Cheers!

Sep 8, 2008, 1:47:00 AM  
Blogger Barrie said...

I can tell you had fun with that post!

Sep 8, 2008, 2:24:00 AM  
Blogger pattinase (abbott) said...

Seconded.

Sep 8, 2008, 8:00:00 AM  
Blogger Terrie Farley Moran said...

Very funny. You have great wit.

Terrie

Sep 8, 2008, 8:42:00 AM  
Blogger Janna Qualman said...

So creative! lol

Sep 8, 2008, 9:48:00 AM  
Blogger Travis Erwin said...

You should apply to Wiki to spice up all their posts.

Sep 8, 2008, 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Barbara Martin said...

That was a great post, Joshua! Loved it as you told it like it really is.

Sep 8, 2008, 6:29:00 PM  
Blogger lyzzydee said...

Far more interesting!!!!

Sep 11, 2008, 8:48:00 AM  
Anonymous mary elise said...

Hey Josh, I must ask since you are from Columbia, and I have a new interest in Columbia since my son and his family are recent inhabitants of Columbia, if you know any of the history of the land owners or the historical battles. I am an amateur photographer and amateur ghost hunter. My photos of their property are overflowing with orb images on all the p hotos and we sometimes feel unexplained activity in the house, which seems friendly. anyways, as the kids would say. be in touch if you have any info. Thanks Mary G.

Dec 30, 2008, 4:22:00 PM  

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