My Town Monday - Wikipedia Redone Edition

I have taken the Wikipedia entry for Columbia, IL and spiced it up a bit :)

The first settlers to come to the area of Columbia, Illinois, were drunken dirty Frenchmen in the mid-1600s. They named the area in which Columbia was founded L'Aigle, which is French for We Surrender.

In the mid-1700s, Canadians took over the territory until the Revolutionary War and warm weather forced them out of the area. The colonial American settlers soon arrived and established the first permanent settlements in the area of Columbia, Fort Fu-man Chew and Fort Pigley Wigley. Both forts were made out of cabbage and were used to protect against Indian rug burns.

In 1820, Columbia was plotted out as a town and built on bluffs 500 feet above sea level to protect against possible attacks from fire ants and Benjamin Franklin.

Germans began invading the area around 1833, with the majority coming in the 1840s. United States land agents had traveled to Germany to sell land to emigrating Germans. When the immigrants arrived in the United States, they traveled immediately to their own parcels of land and beat up the locals.

Entering the United States through New Orleans, these Germans went up the Mississippi River, bypassing Poland, to St. Louis, Missouri. They "settled" in the general region, including the Columbia area. The ground was not expensive, harvests were rich, the Polish were scared, and the climate was perfect for growing grain and forcing religious views on the natives. German thrift, tenacity, tanks, and industriousness changed the character of Columbia from a pioneer settlement to a thriving community based in beer and bratwurst. The hard-working nature of the early immigrants had a direct influence on the town’s present prosperity and tolerant views of minorities.......just kidding, they're still racist as hell.

In 1859, Columbia was incorporated as a town as a result of the growth from German immigration and the threat of a David Hasselhoff concert. In 1868, the first Slim Jim sponsored railroad tracks were laid in Columbia, and the town continued to grow, develop, and snap into a Slim Jim . In 1927, Columbia became a city after losing its virginity after prom.

Don't forget to check out the man behind My Town Monday over at his blog.

My Town Monday - St. Louis

The cool things about where I live is that I'm twenty minutes from St. Louis. And over the last few years, because of a friend, have I really discovered the fun to be had there. If you are ever in the area, these are a few of the places I would recommend in a heartbeat. If we're gonna have a night out in St. Louis, your gonna need a pint.

The Scottish Arms is a true honest to goodness Scottish Pub. They serve Scottish food, lager, and even wear kilts. If your Scottish, it's the place to be. If you want to drink and think of your homeland, this is the place to be. I have only been there once, but while I was drinking and eating, the lamb is great, I felt comfortable and at home. This is one place you must go for a pint. I imagine myself in Scotland, with my lass, at a pub like this.

Their bar is my dream bar.

And what if your looking for a little class? The St. Louis Art Museum is the place to go. I have been coming to this museum since we moved here in 92. I really truly enjoy coming here. The environment is relaxed, as you hope it would be. The art is beautiful and if you have that someone special with you, you'll enjoy it that much more.

There is a painting in here that looks just like my

cousin, Something She Wrote. I think she's seen it.

And whats great about going to the museum, the St. Louis Zoo is right next to it. There is nothing better than spending part of the day at the museum then hitting the zoo or vice averse. If you go in the summer time, I recommend the Penguin Exhibit highly. It's freaking cool and the penguins rock.

"Where is Batman?", he asked his ass.

And since I am a theater lover and part time music man, I would suggest swinging by the Fox Theater. This is the place to see musicals, Broadway plays, comedians, and musicians alike. Phantom of the Opera looks amazing here, watching a comedy genius do stand up here is awesome, and just being able to say, "Sorry, I'm heading to the theater." is just plain fun.

The inside is so beautiful.

And if your looking for a great place to eat, I'm sorry. There is only one place I have ever recommended as if the life of my first born child depended on it. That place, my friends, is Quatro's. True, its about 80 minutes from where I live, in Carbondale, IL where I went to college, but dammit, it has the best pizza anywhere! Get a large deep pan Meateater, that's all you need.

Not in St. Louis

Love ya guys and have a great Monday.

My Town Monday

Travis, over at his blog, does this cool blog called My Town Monday. It's pretty much a way to tell your fellow bloggers cool and informative things about yourself and your hometown. I gonna use his meme template to tell you about my town.

HOMETOWN (past, present, or future - your choice): Present - Columbia, IL

POPULATION: 9,818 (2007 Numbers)

YOU SHOULD THINK OF MY TOWN WHEN.... : you think I wanna hear a bitching marching band and watch some cool high school sports!! WE ROCK!.....sadly that's about it.

YOU SHOULD CUSS MY TOWN WHEN.... : when you pay the sky high prices on houses and apartments. Columbia is 15 minutes from everything it seems, is in a nice area, and the evil Columbia is very, very aware of that.

ONE MUST SEE IF YOU VISIT: Any of our fine chains of restaurants. We have a McDonald's, Taco Bell, Subway, Quizno's, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen, Thai, Chinese, and a buffet! Other than that, your less than 15 minutes from St. Louis. That's where the fun is.

ONE PLACE YOU SHOULD AVOID: Remember Subway I mentioned before, stay away from there. Last time I ate there, was sick as a dog and my friend got Bubonic Plague.

FAMOUS RESIDENT: There was this Mexican dude who shot and killed his boss a few years ago. Sadly, that about it.

RENOWNED ATHLETE: TJ Mathews, Pro Baseball Player. Played with the Cardinals, Astro's, and A's. Was one of the players traded for Mark McGwire.

WITHOUT MY TOWN, THE WORLD WOULD NOT HAVE: actually, we haven't given jack shit to the world. However we do have some of the hottest ladies in the area.

I LIKE MY TOWN BECAUSE: I have lived here longer than any other place. When I was younger we moved around alot. Before I moved here in 1992, I had lived in Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, and a few different places in those states. Its nice to have a place to call home for longer than a year or two.

I MIGHT LEAVE ONE DAY BECAUSE: Even though I have good friends here, I still don't have that which I long for the most, love. I want to find a special someone and I don't think I'm gonna find her in this area. Plus, I think it's time to move to a new area. I've been here for 16 years, I think it's time for a change.