Food, Friends, and Cats

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."

- Apocrypha

Even though I have been having a ton of fun with the Real* Stories, you can read the conclusion by clicking here or you can quit being a lazy bastard and scroll down one blog! Anyway, I still must remember to blog about actual things. On Wednesday night, I was able to meet up with some really great friends of mine at Lotawata Creek. If you haven't eaten there, its a true challenge. They give you so much freaking food, its puts guys like me to shame. This is the only place I can never finish my plate.

As we hugged and shook hands, I remembered I had not seen these guys/gals since my college years; I went to college in 2000-2001. Yeah, only one year as I flunked out and was asked not to return. It's not my fault as I had to take classes OTHER than music. Who the hell uses Philosophy anyway!? Anyway, that's a blog for another day. And even though I went back for a few fraternity functions and football games, I had not seen most of these people in over 6 years.

Let me say, it was great to see everyone and fun was had by all. We ate, drank, and socialized; the three keys elements to a great time. We told stories from times past, and caught up with the present. All them are married, some with kids and some with cats. And those people just with cats love it when they are repeatedly asked, "When are YOU gonna have kids?"

But I think those cat couples may be on to something, because would rather have this.....

or this

I think that pretty much answers itself :)

As the night ended emails and numbers were exchanged, and vows of not being a stranger were traded. It really was a great time and can't wait to see them again.

Time is short people so live and love while you can. Love ya guys.

Real* Stories Part 4 - The End of the 4 Minute War

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO MAKE THIS SLIGHTLY MORE FUNNY.

PREVIOUSLY ON REAL* STORIES

And when I saw Lauren pull out the Taffy, I knew this rumble was on. She had a ritual with her fights; first she'd eat some Taffy, then put on her Drew Carey glasses, and last, she'd turn on her Rick Astley Beat Down Mix on her IPod. When we heard "Never Gonna Give You Up" blaring from her headset, we knew something else, The Popsicle Express had no chance.

Lauren made a b-line for Pat O'Cake. Not really to single him out, but to save him from Brad. He had cornered Pat and was doing his one man show of South Pacific. Pat, who was crying and scared, was grateful to see Lauren. He would rather scrap with her rather than sit through another minute of Brad's show. Pat sadly didn't have a chance as once Lauren had her taffy, she was unstoppable. She made him say uncle, then pinkie swear that he would go home and think about what he'd done. He continued crying, and then left.

Kelly and Dan had teamed up to take on Jack and Red. They were duking it out in the Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop apply named Lure. Pizza was flying, worms were trampled, and the ladies in the Pizzeria seemed pretty excited. And with each of their ladies on there shoulders, an epic chicken fight began......and ended quickly. Sadly, due to Big Jacks small size, they were easily defeated. Dan and Kelly embraced knowing that their skills at chicken fighting while inside a Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop, was out of this world.

I was trading jabs back and forth with Brian O'Nasty. First I showed him some old family pictures, which dazed him. Then he showed me some Lolcats from his cell phone, it almost knocked me down. But I was finally able to knock him out with a low blow of nude pictures of his girlfriend. She was partially dressed as Barney being whipped with a Halibut as she watched Harry Potter; it was just too much for him.

As we looked over the battle field, through the midgets, the night crawlers, and as Brad continued to sing, we marveled in our victory. We knew we were the kings of South East Chicago. And as we left, Brad was finishing South Pacific and moving on to Sunset Boulevard.

We smiled and knew everything was gonna be OK.

THE END......for this war anyway.

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Real Stories Part 3 - The Commercial^ Interruption

WE INTERRUPT THIS CURRENT BLOG TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT

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Real* Stories Part 2 - The Painted Popsicle Wars

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, THE CHILDREN, AND THE BAKERS MAN.

I remember when our great War started, as if it was yesterday. It was a sunny Friday around noon.........actually I think it was a cloudy Tuesday after dinner time. Now that I think about it, it was a rainy Thursday before Full House came on. Either way, that day shall live in infamy in the streets of South East Chicago.

We had just finished watching Full House and were debating who would win in a cage fight, Jesse, Joey, or Danny. Just as we added the tag team of the Olsen Twins, we ran into the Popsicle Express. Their leader, Big Jake Heights, was a midget and lawyer from Long Island. Then there was his gal and next in command, Shorty "Red" McLegs. She was a former WBA All-Star and hand model. The rest of the gang consisted Brian "Big O" Nasty, a former underwear inspector, and Pat O'Cake, the bakers man and 1999 Beat Boxing Champ.

When we ran into them, things got real quiet. Like the kind quiet when someone farts in church or when a clown dies. We had hoped to just pass them and that be it as the last rumble we had resulted in a lot of hurt feelings.

It all started when Dan said "Hey" to Big Jack. That sent him into a tiny rage and he started to kick Dan in the shin over and over again. Kelly immediately came to his aid and punted Jake into an all Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop. Brad went after Brian as he had always hated underwear inspectors. I went after Mr. O'Cake, as we had heat from him stealing my Beat Boxing crown in '99. And when I saw Lauren pull out the taffy, I knew this rumble was on.

And then......................things got weird.

Stay tuned for Real* Stories Part 3 - War and Taffy

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Real* Stories Part 1 - The Introductions

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, THE CHILDREN, AND THE DONKEY.

The year was 2003 and my friends had just recruited me into there gang, The Finger Painters. True, we weren't well respected or feared, but we were a huge hit with the "special" kids, my mom, and Wilbur the town donkey. We would spend our days harassing stop lights, threatening the locals with paper cuts, and throwing stale food at the drunken Amish. At night we would watch Pretender and tell ghost stories over a flaming tire.

The leader was Dan "the Fred" Savage. He had been raised in Europe, IL and had a penchant for skipping when running. At an early age he fell in love with the mother from the Wonder Years. Years later, when she rejected his affection, he began a downward spiral into crime, tom foolery, and knitting.

Next in command, was the love of his life, Kelly "Snake Eyes" Hasselhoff. She had been a dancer in the Ballet before being smitten by Dan. And once the rash cleared up, it was all love and clean sailing. She was The Jokers Harley Quinn, The Bonnie to his Clyde, and the Nancy to his Ronald Reagan.

Our weapons expert was Brad "I Hate Gravy" Sanchez. At the age of 14 he had lost his virginity to a three bean casserole....and was never the same. He loved The Lord of the Dance, the feel of wet chocolate, and had vowed to one day kill Captain Kangaroo.

Our eye candy and muscle, was Lauren "Skittles Rule" Goldstein. She had dropped out of high school after an incident with the principal, an oven ready chicken, and a mixed tape of Ace of Base. The video was confiscated but can still be seen on YouTube, just search for Disappearing Chicken, Surprised Man, She Did Not Just Do That.

And I was the brains, Josh "I'll Take a Pint" McDomination. I was in the gang because I was a rebel, a hell raiser, and because the fuzz had taken my library card. Curse you pigs as I will never know what became of Dick and Jane and their infernal red ball!

However all was not well, as we were at war with our rival gang, The Popsicle Express.

But that is a story for another blog,

Real* Stories Part 2 - The Painted Popsicle Wars

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Eyes Closed, Mind Awake

"The greatest things in life are

neither seen nor heard,

they are experienced."

- Josh Leadbetter

Close your eyes and open your mind to some mind blowing music. Music is the key to unlocking that which is locked. It is the air the gives our soul breath. It is the heartbeat of all life. Enjoy

And to think this is from a video game :)

My Town Monday

Travis, over at his blog, does this cool blog called My Town Monday. It's pretty much a way to tell your fellow bloggers cool and informative things about yourself and your hometown. I gonna use his meme template to tell you about my town.

HOMETOWN (past, present, or future - your choice): Present - Columbia, IL

POPULATION: 9,818 (2007 Numbers)

YOU SHOULD THINK OF MY TOWN WHEN.... : you think I wanna hear a bitching marching band and watch some cool high school sports!! WE ROCK!.....sadly that's about it.

YOU SHOULD CUSS MY TOWN WHEN.... : when you pay the sky high prices on houses and apartments. Columbia is 15 minutes from everything it seems, is in a nice area, and the evil Columbia is very, very aware of that.

ONE MUST SEE IF YOU VISIT: Any of our fine chains of restaurants. We have a McDonald's, Taco Bell, Subway, Quizno's, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen, Thai, Chinese, and a buffet! Other than that, your less than 15 minutes from St. Louis. That's where the fun is.

ONE PLACE YOU SHOULD AVOID: Remember Subway I mentioned before, stay away from there. Last time I ate there, was sick as a dog and my friend got Bubonic Plague.

FAMOUS RESIDENT: There was this Mexican dude who shot and killed his boss a few years ago. Sadly, that about it.

RENOWNED ATHLETE: TJ Mathews, Pro Baseball Player. Played with the Cardinals, Astro's, and A's. Was one of the players traded for Mark McGwire.

WITHOUT MY TOWN, THE WORLD WOULD NOT HAVE: actually, we haven't given jack shit to the world. However we do have some of the hottest ladies in the area.

I LIKE MY TOWN BECAUSE: I have lived here longer than any other place. When I was younger we moved around alot. Before I moved here in 1992, I had lived in Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, and a few different places in those states. Its nice to have a place to call home for longer than a year or two.

I MIGHT LEAVE ONE DAY BECAUSE: Even though I have good friends here, I still don't have that which I long for the most, love. I want to find a special someone and I don't think I'm gonna find her in this area. Plus, I think it's time to move to a new area. I've been here for 16 years, I think it's time for a change.

Thoughts Remembered

Thoughts once lost at sea

in waters of pure madness.

Sailing throughout the years,

in a vessel made of sadness.

But after three years adrift

some memories made it home.

They had hit a land of light

where they'd be free to roam.

Happy thoughts from long ago

and those since lost in time,

have risen from the mental ashes

to thrive in a bright new mind.

Some of them are beautiful

while others shrouded black,

But no matter what they seem,

I'm grateful that their back.

This last week has really been a tough yet exciting one. Some memories that had been lost for years are slowing reappearing. Some funny, some sad, but overall they are in a bright nature. Having these memories trickle in has been a mixed blessing. While it is nice to have these lost images back, for me at least, these images bring alot of pain. All the pain and emotion I had when I lived these emotions for the first time, I'm experiencing all over again as if for first time.

I was chatting with my friend L about all this a few days ago. I can say, truthfully as a man, I was crying my eyes out the whole time. And if you think that's girly or unmanly, I'll kick your ass :). But, overall I'm glad these guys are back. I had truly forgotten those great and not so great times.

Remember, memories are like family. Whether you love em or hate em, enjoy them while you have them. Love ya guys.