I am So Proud of You

I am so proud of you,

for everything you do,

I am so proud of you,

for all that you've been through.

I am so proud of you,

for keeping your head high,

I am so proud of you,

for never asking why.

I am so proud of you,

for all the love and kindness.

I am so proud of you,

for smiles and the brightness.

I am so proud of you,

for the hope you do extend,

I am so proud of you,

for simply being our friend.

I am so proud of you.

For L

If you get a second, stop by my friend L's blog and show her some love. After an up and down year she finally got moved into her new pad. She's really hung in there, held her head high, and come through swinging.

I'm so proud of you L.

I Am

I am so weary,

it makes me weep.

I think I will try,

and get some sleep.

But another day,

has come and gone.

And wasted time,

has done me wrong.

My time is precious,

as time seems to go.

For what tomorrow holds,

I simply don't know.

I'm tired of wasting,

this time so dear.

Time spent alone,

with no one near.

As I lay down,

and do whats best.

I can only hope time,

too takes a rest.

Love ya guys :)

Sometimes It Would Be Nice

Sometimes it would be nice

if our lives were like a book.

Having already been written

so we could take a look.

To read ahead and make sure

the choices we made were just,

that we did not waste a minute,

when every second is a must.

I could use that book right now

as my present choice may fail,

And I am uncertain in myself

with my mind so weak and frail.

I do not know what to do

as everything is out of place,

this chapter of my life it seems

is lost and gone without a trace.

Thoughts Remembered

Thoughts once lost at sea

in waters of pure madness.

Sailing throughout the years,

in a vessel made of sadness.

But after three years adrift

some memories made it home.

They had hit a land of light

where they'd be free to roam.

Happy thoughts from long ago

and those since lost in time,

have risen from the mental ashes

to thrive in a bright new mind.

Some of them are beautiful

while others shrouded black,

But no matter what they seem,

I'm grateful that their back.

This last week has really been a tough yet exciting one. Some memories that had been lost for years are slowing reappearing. Some funny, some sad, but overall they are in a bright nature. Having these memories trickle in has been a mixed blessing. While it is nice to have these lost images back, for me at least, these images bring alot of pain. All the pain and emotion I had when I lived these emotions for the first time, I'm experiencing all over again as if for first time.

I was chatting with my friend L about all this a few days ago. I can say, truthfully as a man, I was crying my eyes out the whole time. And if you think that's girly or unmanly, I'll kick your ass :). But, overall I'm glad these guys are back. I had truly forgotten those great and not so great times.

Remember, memories are like family. Whether you love em or hate em, enjoy them while you have them. Love ya guys.

As I Walk Empty Handed

"The hardest days of ones life,

are the days spent empty handed."

- Josh Leadbetter

As I walk empty handed

through dark and scary places,

I am reminded of better times

with kind and caring faces.

They are crisp in my mind

and filled with joyful glee,

I think of them everyday

while a smile comes over me.

But as I walk empty handed

certain things are clear.

Those heavenly times are lost,

and might not ever reappear.

Yet down this road I shall walk

and pray in as many ways,

that keeping my hand held open

will lead to loving hand held days.

Something From My Heart

When I was young I thought of you,

an angel dressed in white.

And longed for days of meeting,

my angel dressed in white.

Everyday would begin with thoughts,

of my angel dressed in white.

And every night would end with dreams,

of my angel dressed in white.

Then the day came when I met,

my angel dressed in white.

And the days were filled with love and hope,

just me and my angel dressed in white.

These were the greatest times I ever had,

with my angel dressed in white.

And it felt as though it would last forever,

pure love, just me, and an angel dressed in white.

But soon the clouds of sadness formed,

around me and my angel dressed in white.

And soon the colors were dark and scary,

and I lost my angel dressed in white.

Those days have since turned to years,

and I miss my angel in white.

And can only hope when the colors return,

so too will my angel dressed in white.

I have never been a person to put my feelings out there for anyone or everyone to see. I spent so many years keeping them to myself that it's hard for me to really get them out there. I've also never been one to write poetry or any medium like that. But, these last few days have been very trying in my emotional world. And being a guy, that makes things harder. We are supposed to strong, fearless, and never show our inner feelings. Well, today I put myself at your mercy. I do not care if you belittle me or praise me, I just simply wish to express that which I have been unable to express for so many years. I love each and everyone of you and I always will.