As I Walk Empty Handed

"The hardest days of ones life,

are the days spent empty handed."

- Josh Leadbetter

As I walk empty handed

through dark and scary places,

I am reminded of better times

with kind and caring faces.

They are crisp in my mind

and filled with joyful glee,

I think of them everyday

while a smile comes over me.

But as I walk empty handed

certain things are clear.

Those heavenly times are lost,

and might not ever reappear.

Yet down this road I shall walk

and pray in as many ways,

that keeping my hand held open

will lead to loving hand held days.

Swimming in the Rain

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness

has never danced in the rain”

- Unknown

Why is swimming in a pool when it's raining so freaking relaxing and fun? Is it the beer, the people, the rain, or a combination of each? I don't know but either way fun was had at the yearly get together with friends from my old stomping ground, the ER. We were at a nurses house who provided tons of food, tons of booze, and a big pool. We kept with tradition and did shots every half hour throughout the night, ranging from Hot Apple Pie to the very tasty Horny Girl Scout. Also keeping with tradition, yours truly drank his ass off, over 15 beers and 10+ shots, and was still sober when things were said and done. There must be a gene helping me here. Must be on the Leadbetter side since the Center side of me has quite a few drunks in the family.

I must say, overall the night was great. Even the fact that everyone there, except me, had a significant other with them, hanging on them, and drunkenly smooching didn't dampen my fun in the least. Great times. So, for the party next year I have three goals; slimmer Josh, drunker Josh, and Josh with a gal of own to smooch with. :)

Love ya guys, hope the weekend is exciting and fun.

Totally Out the Blue Side Note: One of my favorite movies, Red Sonja, is getting a redo, as it seems that's all Hollywood can do now-a-days. Well, today they released a teaser poster with Rose McGowan and I learned what it takes to make a great poster; Redheads, Swords, Chain male.....enough said. Need to get those last two for L. :)

Click picture for bigger picture

Gun Don't Kill People, Ferrets Do - Part II

"And there he was.....a ferret, in a flack

jacket, holding a flamethrower.

It was then I realized, run like f$%k!"

- Josh Leadbetter

Here's a continuation of a previous blog I wrote about the more unusual ways for one to loss the battle with the Axis of Life, enjoy. Death by....

Cranius Corndogius

Death from cranial corn dog trauma. Usually seen at state fairs

after someone insults a carnie.

The Great Chicago Letdown

A slow drawn out death from years of last minute let downs.

Only happens in baseball with one team.

Inadvertent Haseking

Death by angry hockey stick to face. Only happens near Detroit from the road rage of Dominik Hasek.

Flack Jacket Flamethrowing Ferret

Enough said

A Conversation with Myself

"One who asks a question is

a fool for five minutes;

one who does not ask a question

remains a fool forever."

- Chinese Proverb

After doing the Lipton questions from Inside the Actors Studio, I was ready for more and to maybe have a little fun. So, after getting back from walking, I starting to mess with his original questions. Lets try something a little different shall we.

1. What is your favorite memory?

Taking my then fiancee to see my dieing grandfather at the hospital.

He was able to see her for the first and the last time.

2. What is your least favorite memory?

Tie: My first pediatric code in the ER, and the day I remembered

all the stuff I lost while mentally unavailable.

3. What or who turns you into a softy?

Children, children can make anyone melt.

4. What or who turns you into a bad mother f*^%$r?

Guys who hit girls, I will mess them up.

5. What is your favorite word that sounds like a cuss word?

Kumquat; I'm sorry but I giggle on the inside when I hear this.

6. What do you love?

Being loved, movies, and my family and friends

7. What do you hate?

Knowing that at any minute, this life could end. I don't

want unfinished business.

8. What person, alive or dead, would you like to attempt "to do"?

Helen of Troy; just to see what the fuss was about.

9. What person, alive or dead, would you NOT attempt "to do"?
Tie: Janet Reno and Typhoid Mary

10: If Heaven exists, what is the LAST thing you want God to

say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Wow! You sure looked at A LOT of porn."

I hope you dude and dudettes are having a great week. Love ya

A Conversation with James Lipton

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

- Unknown

1. What is your favorite word?
Lovely; Its just so beautiful.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Can't; So negative and people seem to be quick to say it.
3. What turns you on?
Being told, I love you; Makes life worth living.
4. What turns you off?
Abuse; I will put a hurtin on someone who hurtin someone else.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Shite; Sounds freaking cool.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
A woman's moan ;)
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The beeping at every job I have had. Present job, monitors alarming.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Plastic Surgeon
9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Crack Whore
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Nice guys have always been my favorites."

So what about you?

And Now For Something Completely Different

"The BBC would like to apologize for the following announcement."

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will. :)

Love ya guys

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

"When one bases his life on principle,

99 percent of his decisions are already made."

- Unknown

I love this quote but what's on my mind at the moment is a decision about my future. One of the hardest things we as human beings have to decide is what do I want to do? I love being a secretary but I know when I find the right gal I want to be able to support her. This last month or so, I have realized that if I want to be alone and only support myself, this job will be fine. However, I do not want to be alone and know that I must do more. This little brain has been in overdrive the last few nights kicking up ideas of what I should do. Here's the 4 choices I have come up with so far.

Pro Wrestler : While my career as a pro wrestler was short, 3 matches, I always liked being in front of a crowd. The ring, the cheers, the spandex, and the chair shots. And as the weight continues to come off, I realize it would easier for on my body. Rickey Rescue is still around, and like Chuck Norris, is just waiting to strike.

Get My Paramedic License : I had an EMT-B license but it has since expired. I would go back to school and get my EMT-B, then enroll in the Paramedic course and go from there. The EMT course is about 6 months but the Paramedic one is another year and half. This one seems to be the front runner of my choices.

Be An Interpreter: This one is lowest on the list as it takes the most schooling. Most Interpreters are fluent in two languages, I would learn one, probably Russian, and work on my English skills. My other choice would be sign language. There is something very beautiful about signing.

An Ultimate Fighter : Ok, this one is far fetched, but if I do drop this weight, anything is possible.

I know in the end, what I do will also be decided by those in my life. For the first time, I'm actually looking forward to it. Love ya guys.

UPDATE: On a sadder note, a 22 year old paramedic and firefighter, Ryan Hummert, was shot and killed while responding to a call in Maple Wood. I did not know this man or the company he ran with. But as a medic, I have a lot of friends who are firefighters and I think the world of these people. They put their lives on the line, just like officers, simply by doing their job. And when one falls, I think a little piece of us dies with them. So, if you know a firefighter or even a paramedic, thank them for what they, for they put their lives on the line everyday just for us.

I Wonder.....

"The great art of life is sensation,

to feel that we exist, even in pain."
- Lord Byron

Have a great monday guys and gals, love ya.

Such a Good Week You Are, Yes You Are!!! Have a Bone.

"My great week can beat the

shit out of your great week!"

- Josh Leadbetter

Great weeks for me have always been few and far between. But, I can say, this is the best week I have had in a while. Work is going great, I'm getting to spend more time with friends, and the weight is still dropping off. If I can just have a few more weeks like this, everything will come together.

Oh, and another reason for the

is the new Watchmen trailer. It's taken from the greatest graphic novel of our times and here's the trailer.

Holy sweet mother of all that's pure with maple syrup!

Dam that's nice isn't it. Awesome song too, it's The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by the Smashing Pumpkins. Listen Here, or you can Download It Here. I can't stop listening to this awesome song.

Love ya guys and maybe next week we can have a cage match, your week vs my week! :)

UPDATE: Finally finished reading Watchmen......... :) happy days continue.