The Penguin Has Moved

Deathbyopus has shut down it doors for the better

and the new and improved penguin (me) can be found over

HERE

Rained Out

Was supposed to go to the family reunion today. Hadn't slept but was looking forward to seeing people I have not seen in a decade. We were in the car and my dads cell phone rang saying it was cancelled. The power was out where we were heading and the rain was freaking crazy. So we turned around, hit up the Cracker Barrel, and came home. Feel bad for my dad, he was really bummed as he was looking forward to seeing everyone. Hopefully we will be able to go next year.

So how was your guys weekend?

Fun with Graphs?

I think just about everyone has heard of I Can Has Cheezburger. I think it's very creative and gives me a laugh every time I see it. Now, I see they've had a sister site with graphs. I didn't think graphs could be funny, I was wrong.

Click on the Monty Python graph to see a clearer version, freaking blogger!

I also recommend xkcd.com. To quote their page, its a web comic of romance,sarcasm, math, and language. HERE's my favorite one. Love ya guys.

One Wish Wednesday #2

I am gonna tell you of more practical wishes I wish would come true. We could all wish for a million dollars, world peace, or that all the Beatles were alive and well and touring. Sadly, that is not the case. We need wishes that maybe, might, or could come true. If you want to play along, cool! Here is my wish for this second installment of O.W.W.

Wish - Holiday items cannot be sold in stores until AT LEAST 2 months prior.

WTF have we become as a nation when we start selling holiday crap 3-4 months before the holiday? I've seen it online, and in stores, particularly the selling of Christmas crap before other holidays have arrived. (Halloween and Thanksgiving)

I was at a store, late August/early September, and was hoping to see some Halloween out. But what do my eyes see, a mother F$%^*ng SANTA! I went into a rampage and destroyed the Christmas section. Well.....I didn't but mentally I burned that place down.

I'm I the only one who feels like this?

Simply Labeled Another Time, Another Place

I see myself gazing into a mirror with letters on the bottom that simply say Another Time, Another Place. As I look into the mirror I see myself only I'm a few years older. I'm coming home from my job and I appear tired but glad to be home. My house is beautiful and it makes me smile every time I see it. As my keys ring from trying to unlock the front door, I hear foot steps running to greet me. As I open the door I am ambushed by two young boys joyfully screaming dad. I hug them both, tell them I love them, and ask were their mother is. They say almost in unison while giggling, "In the kitchen".

I smile and proceed to carry them in the kitchen to see my wife. She's at the table, getting dinner ready, and even though see has been cooking she looks lovelier than I have seen. She smiles and says hi and return the hello. We hug and share a romantic kiss, the love in the room is overwhelming. Just as she gets ready to say I love you........I wake up. I cry as it felt so real, as if I had just lost them.

Dreams can be so beautiful yet so cruel.

My Town Monday - Wikipedia Redone Edition

I have taken the Wikipedia entry for Columbia, IL and spiced it up a bit :)

The first settlers to come to the area of Columbia, Illinois, were drunken dirty Frenchmen in the mid-1600s. They named the area in which Columbia was founded L'Aigle, which is French for We Surrender.

In the mid-1700s, Canadians took over the territory until the Revolutionary War and warm weather forced them out of the area. The colonial American settlers soon arrived and established the first permanent settlements in the area of Columbia, Fort Fu-man Chew and Fort Pigley Wigley. Both forts were made out of cabbage and were used to protect against Indian rug burns.

In 1820, Columbia was plotted out as a town and built on bluffs 500 feet above sea level to protect against possible attacks from fire ants and Benjamin Franklin.

Germans began invading the area around 1833, with the majority coming in the 1840s. United States land agents had traveled to Germany to sell land to emigrating Germans. When the immigrants arrived in the United States, they traveled immediately to their own parcels of land and beat up the locals.

Entering the United States through New Orleans, these Germans went up the Mississippi River, bypassing Poland, to St. Louis, Missouri. They "settled" in the general region, including the Columbia area. The ground was not expensive, harvests were rich, the Polish were scared, and the climate was perfect for growing grain and forcing religious views on the natives. German thrift, tenacity, tanks, and industriousness changed the character of Columbia from a pioneer settlement to a thriving community based in beer and bratwurst. The hard-working nature of the early immigrants had a direct influence on the town’s present prosperity and tolerant views of minorities.......just kidding, they're still racist as hell.

In 1859, Columbia was incorporated as a town as a result of the growth from German immigration and the threat of a David Hasselhoff concert. In 1868, the first Slim Jim sponsored railroad tracks were laid in Columbia, and the town continued to grow, develop, and snap into a Slim Jim . In 1927, Columbia became a city after losing its virginity after prom.

Don't forget to check out the man behind My Town Monday over at his blog.